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Class of the Titans
This segment is a parody of Clash of the Titans. This segment is from the episode Class of the Titans/Zeke and Lex Luthor. Plot The epic battle of gods and mortals plays out at a high school. References *Perseus *Medusa *Zeus *Hades *Marmaduke *Pontiac *Magic Johnson *Twilight *Kraken Characters *Narrator *Curseus *Friend *Medusa *Football Player *Zeus *Magic Johnson *Food Guy *Announcer *Edward Cullen *Jacob Black *Quarterback *Hades *Kraken Transcript Narrator '('Actually Curseus): It was a time of war, gods with big beards, fighting mortals with small beards, and in the middle, a guy with no beard, who would save them all. Curseus: And that's is on the side of my lunchbox. Friend: Awesome, man! I just have Marmapuke. Marmapuke: Woof. Friend: You're cool, for a transfer student. What's your name? Curseus: Curseus. Friend: Why'd they name you that? Curseus: (HONK) I know? But I'm half god, half mortal, so someone must have (HONK)'d up. (Alfred brings two boxes that say "mortal" and god" together) Friend: You're half god, and you go to a mortal school? Why? Curseus: (Storm clouds and lightning bolts appear) To show the gods they can be beaten! Plus, my old school doesn't have a pool. (Title card appears on the screen, Class of the Titans) (Cuts to the school locker) Curseus: (Puts shield into his locker) I heard you guys have a pretty (HONK) football team. Friend: Yeah, but I blame our head cheerleader. (Cuts to the football field) Medusa: Well bring the ball home or turn to stone! Football Player: What'd she say? (Medusa turns the football player into stone, scene cuts back to the school locker) Curseus: Sounds like she needs to be taken care of. Friend: I'm on it (Grabs sword out of his locker). Curseus: I meant a makeover. Friend: Right. Right. Cool. I'll, um, I'll go do that (Walks away). Curseus: (Zeus' foot crashes down the ceiling) What do you want, Dad? Zeus: How did you know it was me? Curseus: No one else has a foot the size of a Pontiac. Zeus: I just wanted to say, good luck at school. I hope you became a win the big game on Saturday. Curseus: I don't need your help, dad. You're the enemy. Zeus: I know, I know. But I brought you a few things anyways. Here's a magic helmet, a magic sword, a magic marker, Magic Johnson, and I packed you a magic lunch (Gives Curseus all the aforementioned items). Curseus: What makes it magic? Zeus: I added a cookie. (Shows cookie). Curseus: *gasps* (HONK) Yeah! (Picks up cookie) (Cuts to the house, Curseus and his friend is seen walking inside while a 'beautiful' Medusa walks down the stairs) Friend: OK, keep you eyes closed (Medusa shows her hideous self). Ah! Maybe keep them closed. Curseus: Heh, you gave me a shock! (Draws sword and decapitates Medusa). Friend: Actually, she was our ride back to campus. Curseus: HONK! (Cuts to the Colosseum) Food Guy: Get your moosaka! Zazeeky! Who wants bobahoohas? (Camera zooms into his face) I'm really just making up words. Announcer 1: Big day at the Colosseum, sports fans. Can the Mortals and the Gods' winning streak. Well, this crowd seems to think so. Edward: Woo-hoo! Immortals! Jacob: He said mortals, not immortals. Edward: Shut up! Jacob: You shut up! (Edward and Jacob appear on the Kiss Cam and are about to kiss but they do not kiss because they are scared.) Announcer 2: Word has it they have a new quarterback named Curseus. But is he good enough to go against the Kraken? (Shows the Kraken but it's actually Edward's buttcrack) Edward: Dude, turn around! Your butt is on the Kraken Cam. Jacob: Really? Edward: And put on a shirt on for crying out loud. (Cuts to Curseus and his teammates doing a group huddle) Curseus: Okay Draco, you go left and make a quick right. Stan, you go off the middle and the rest of you follow, (Camera pans upwards and shows that they are outside of the Colosseum) that should get us to the stadium. Announcer 1: Looks like the Gods are taking the field (A God's foot steps on the referee), and here comes the Mortals. (Mortal team comes in a Trojan Horse-esque carrier which crumbles on them) And just in time too because there's the kick-off (Zeus kicks the ball, a group from the Mortal team is seen running but wiped out by the God's quarterback, another group is seen running but were smashed by the Gods) Zeus: (Kraken is seen with the ball, the Kraken refuses to let it go) Release it, Kraken! Hades: (One of the Mortals is trying to catch the ball but was smashed by Hades) Look out, ladies! Here comes Hades! Curseus: Uhh, I think it's time for Plan B. Quarterback: Run for the hills and change our names? Curseus: Maybe it was time for plan C. Curseus: V, XI, XXI, IIV, hike! (Throws ball) (Curseus' friend tries to catch the ball but Kraken catches it first, it is soon revealed to be Medusa's head) Kraken: Uh-oh? (Turns to stone as his hand crumbles, Curseus catches her head) Announcer 1: The Mortals have done it, they've beaten the Gods! Friend: (Throws Medusa to the ground) In your face! Medusa: Uh yeah, I can still feel that. Curseus: Finally, we bring home the winning ball. (Lifts Medusa's head and shows it to everyone, everyone is turned to stone) Curseus: Awww, (HONK)! Trivia *The title is reference to the Canadian animated television series Class of the Titans, it is a parody to the 2010 movie Clash of the Titans. *Antagonist: Curseus Category:Movie Parodies Category:Transcripts Category:Movie Segment Category:Segments